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NEWSLETTER

I Turned 28...But I Am Not Too Happy About It

Hi there!

Today, I will be sharing with you something rather personal filled with deeper thoughts that may be triggering for some of you.


So, just last month, on the 6th of July, I turned 28 and sadly I am not too happy about it, to be honest. Is it because I haven't achieved quarter of the things I wished to have achieved or was I merely having a rough month or probably it just felt like everything decided to cave in on me at one go?

Truthfully, even I don't know which is it...but I'd bet that it is all of it!

One of the major contribution to my stormy mood last month, most likely, would be because of the "30 Days of No Rice Challenge" that I did. I kid you not, as how some of you may feel extra happy after taking a bite of chocolate, I realised that rice was the my source of happiness and also my energy.

But more on the challenge in the next post...for now, just keep in mind that I really wasn't feeling my birth month because of it.

First week, passed by quite smoothly, however, my boat started to rock the moment it hit my birth day. Suddenly, I felt so unaccomplished, and I bashed myself for it.

"Why haven't you accomplished anything?!"
"You are such a loser!"
"You don't even know what you want!"
"You can't do anything right!"
"Can't you just stick to one thing and excel at it?!"
"Look at her/him, they have accomplished so much and she/he is younger than you!"
"You are almost 30 but still can't get anything right!"

Does any of these screaming sentences sound familiar to you? Well, you are not alone, I too fall deep into this dark place, every once in awhile. I start to compare myself to the people around me...and that's absolutely unhealthy.

I know it, you know that, we all know that and yet it is really hard to not fall into this dark pit. But that's why I am here for you, to let you know that you are not alone...and also to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel but only to humble you down, not to put yourself down.

As I was going through the emotions, it amplified all the things that was happening around me, in this case, almost getting locked out of my rental house, constantly squeezing my already dry bank account, losing a work partner, having a massive art-block, feeling like a lousy girlfriend that doesn't get what her partner wants; all which led me to become insensitive, inconsistent and completely out of focus throughout the month of July.

Adulting hits you really hard, especially when you are mentally, emotionally, and physically down.

But at the end of the month, I told myself to look at the brighter side of things, even though, there weren't many positive moments but it is enough to fuel back my positive energy for August. And I'd highly suggest that you'd list down all the positive things that happened throughout last month, no matter how small they may be, and be grateful about it.

Hey, even waking up alive, is a positive thing. 😊

My happy moments of July was that I was able to spend my partner's birthday for the first time, yes, we are both July babies, attended Hyolyn's First World Tour (although this took place at the end of June), experienced HauntuMY, walked through the 10 amazing years of Marvel exhibition at Pavilion and watching my waifu, Gwen getting proposed by the love of her life, Iqi.

What were your happy moments in July?

Also, if you are feeling down and in need of a pair of ears just to hear your rants, feel free to drop me a message at here, or any of my social media platforms. Remember, it's okay to feel down...just always try to pick yourself back up, right after the storm has passed.

I promise to work harder with a positive mind from here on out, and I'd sincerely wish you do the same. Sending mountains of love and support your way! 💖

And finally, Happy Belated Birthday to all the July Babies! 🎂

4 comments

  1. It's okay to feel down.. But don't fall down for a long time.
    May Allah bless you :)
    Happy Birthday :D

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    Replies
    1. Thank you dear! Yeap I am trying to push forward...Let's do better this month ya <3

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  2. I can relate as I'm in a quite similar situation, turning 28 in 2 weeks and feeling shit because I quit caffeine week ago and I haven't been able to do anything the whole week because of it, no energy, foggy brain, cant concentrate on anything etc. But it should be only temporary and it should be much better than before after a while..

    As for the positives, I was progressing well on few personal things until this caffeine withdrawal thing so yeah..just hoping for a quick recovery from this as its especially a bad time to not have energy to do anything..

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    Replies
    1. Try to find another substitute for your source of energy dear. Hope I am not too late to wish you Happy Birthday! Yea, our bodies are so used to that particular thing till it really acts up when we change what we consume.

      After that whole month of not eating rice, I went back to eating rice but in moderate portions as I still want to kick the excess fats off me. I am definitely happier and have more energy. But by no means, am I discouraging you of your efforts in quitting caffeine. Just try to minimize it or find a substitute.

      I am sure you have and will continue to progress with your personal stuffs. It's only a matter of time. :)

      Hang in there dear!

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